:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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