Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
