I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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