one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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