My balls are so social today.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
