Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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