Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
