yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
