Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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