we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
