Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
