he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
