I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
