I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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