i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
