I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
