Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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