this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
