Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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