Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
