we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
accomplished twins. life is a go
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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