i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
