I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
