scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
