just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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