there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
