i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
