I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
