I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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