Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
