I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
