oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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