I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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