On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
