Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
