If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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