I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
