Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
