He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
