I cockslap morals
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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