I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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