You really coming over, don't trick.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
