I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
