road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
