Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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