just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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