The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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