I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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