Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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