Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
