last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
