I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
People in love make me want to vomit
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
