Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
