the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
