I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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