Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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