Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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