Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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