I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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