I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
