So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
