What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
