How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Shame is for Republicans.
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