It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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