dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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