Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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