i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
