True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
