Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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