I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
