Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
