Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So much rum. So many feels.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize