I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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