i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
